At Home with John and Debbie

I make no apologies for all the Glastonbury related posts. I am excited after my two year hiatus.

We’re already seeing Glastonbury related articles in the mainstream press. We’re probably in a bit of a lull now, between the lineup announcement and the festival itself, but things will ramp up in the next couple of weeks.

Here is a metric by which you can measure the laziness of any Glastonbury article.

For each of the listed items mentioned, penalise with a laziness point. Double points if it occurs in the first paragraph, or quadruple if it’s in the first sentence or the headline.

An exception may be made if the item is the main subject of the article. For example, mentioning the weather gets a point, unless the article is specifically about the weather prospects for the festival.

A further exception may be made if the topic becomes especially relevant before the article’s publication. For example, mention mud in the run-up to the festival, you get a point. If it’s a dry festival, you get a point for mentioning mud in subsequent articles. But if the festival is indeed remarkably muddy, it is acceptable to mention the mud in subsequently written articles, and no penalty should be given.

No extra points are given for repetition: once you’ve mentioned mud once, you can mention it as many times as you like without further penalty.

And so, the forbidden topics:

• The toilets
• The weather
• The security fence
• Mud
• Hippies
• “Revellers”
• Crime
• Burgers
• Tofu
• Last year’s headliner
• Drugs
• VW Vans or any other shorthand for 60s/hippy/alternative/crusty culture
• BMWs or any other shorthand for bling or wealth

If you see a Glastonbury article in a mainstream source, tot up the score, and post it as a comment.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 6th, 2007 at 16:09 and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.