Homeward
We drove to LA Airport and dropped off the car. Dropping off is no hassle, you don't even need to show your credit card again. We checked to odometer: we've driven 4,425.1 miles.
The plane left promptly, and I played Card Fighters for the duration of the four hour flight.
There was a delay at Chicago, and the flight was overbooked, but we had jobs to go to and couldn't volounteer for a later flight with its generous compensation.
On the delayed flight from Chicago to Birmingham, we were seated at the front of the section, with oodles of legroom. We were just settled, when the elderly lady behind us started complaining to the attendant about her lack of legroom. It didn't take long before we tired of her complaining - it was stopping us from taking off - so we offered to swap places. I think she was too busy being angry with the airline to understand our offer, because it took a while for her and her companion to accept.
They were grateful, but not nearly as grateful as the flight attendants, who eventually gave us a bottle of wine in thanks (we drank it a week or so later: it was lovely).
7 hours of Card Clash later, my little heart leapt at the sight of proper
irregularly-shaped hedge-bordered fields. A short taxi ride home, and we
were free to enjoy our jetlag to its fullest extent.